Holy Darkness of Desire



Desire little in this world, and what you do desire,desire that very little.
Abandon yourself, surrendering gently, to the very loving Providence of God.
Maxim 17

In this season of minimal light, snow bright and wind chill, we are called within to sit with these gifts of nature. This morning I sat in the darkness, enticed by the tiny speck of the light from a full moon fading in the morning dawn. This being the time of shortening days, I will soon be at home, awaiting the dusk, then twilight and before long the moon rise of the winter solstice. Such moments invite Holy Communion.

This is one of the many gifts that come when I abandon myself and surrender gently to the loving Providence of God. Such moments usher in an awesome hush! Desiring little, I am graced with with an abundant awareness of the fullness of Life.

As I delight in the bright  snow and go out into the cold, I am grateful for the humanity I share with all in this world. I am grateful for the capacity to carry the suffering of many within the enlarged space of my heart that  has opened to their presence in the silence of prayer. My one desire is to be one with them.

God so loved the world….. Jesu Joy of All desiring….. Mary, Shadow of Grace…. Joseph, the one who desired little in the world. You surrendered to the loving providence of God. We honor and receive this Holy Communion. May we all recognize our capacity to embrace one another as you have embraced us.

Moving with Grace

Never go ahead of grace by an imprudent eagerness,

but quietly await its movements, 

and when it comes to you

go along with it 
with great gentleness, humility,

fidelity, and courage.
MAXIM 84

October days beckon me to take a road less traveled. 

One of my favorite people is my "Little Sister" to whom I have been a "Big Sister" for eight years. She is sixteen. On an early October Sunday we took a ride to Pownal, VT and discovered a hidden road.  Most of our time was spent in silence. We were in the world of apple orchards, horses and beauty beyond our imagining.

This past Sunday we decided to take a little walk. The walk took us and we went along with it to the magnificent Natural Bridge State Park in North Adams.  

Here we were welcomed to spend time in the presence of a marble carved arch formed by the force of glacial melt 13,000 years ago. The area rests on 550 million year old bed rock marble.

Growing up is quite a challenge for my "Little Sister" and accompanying her has called forth from within me great gentleness, humility, fidelity and courage. We have discovered that walking in nature, often in silence, is providing a new way for us to communicate. 

As far as I am able, I will companion her through these adolescent years and quietly await the movements of grace that come to us.

I value the counsel of Maxim 84.

In Nature, Grace and Glory!



.

... in nature, grace, and glory for time and for eternity ...

Autumn in the Berkshire Hills of Western Massachusetts is glorious. As over many a country road I travelled these past two weeks, I was taken out of myself by the beauty, while invited from within to stop and take it all in. Are not earth, mountains and sky also neighbors that seek relationship with us?

I stopped to photograph this scene in Cheshire on my way to Mont Marie last week. Such presence speaks to me of nature, grace, glory and fidelity. It also speaks to me of time and eternity.Father Medaille tells us in Maxim 40:   "Love nothing that is not eternal."

Our Sister Andrea touched our lives in a glorious way this past week as she fulfilled to the end her promise to live out Maxim 73:  " Live out your life with one desire only: to be always what God wants you to be in nature, grace, and glory, for time and for eternity."

As we shared memories at her wake service we were brought into the beginning years of her life as a Sister of St. Joseph in Fall River. I was particularly touched in hearing that when she was anointed a day of two before she died, that she opened her eyes and told those present that she wanted to tell about her vocation. She spoke of how at age 5 she had heard God to speak to her heart saying, "You  are mine you belong to me." At age 12  she experienced God again speaking to her as she received Holy Communion saying,"You belong to me and I want you to be a Sister."  She entered religious life at age 16 and was a sister for close to 80 years! It was evident in the sharing that she influenced many people from her earliest days until the very last.

Like the autumn trees, Andrea's beauty, in the midst of much suffering and joy, caused us to stop and take in her life among us. It is a blessing to know that we are one, in nature, grace and glory throughout eternity.

Glory Be!

GLORY is the Radiance of God! Each of us houses this glory. Sometimes it shines brightly. Sometimes it is overshadowed. Occasionally, like a rainbow, it suddenly appears drawing forth deep joy in the hearts of those who see it. We express appreciation for the honor and opportunity to experience it.


In late August our Community of St. Joseph blessed Sr. Linda Wilk and sent her on mission to Sheltering Wings orphanage in Burkina Faso, West Africa. There were tears of awe shed as we saw before our very eyes the wonder of this quiet unassuming woman radiant with a courageous response. In October she will cross the globe to be with children awaiting her return, having visited them for a few summers.

Sisters of St. Joseph have inherited a book of 100 “Maxims of the Little Institute” which was written by Jean Pierre Medaille to guide the inner lives of our early community in the seventeenth century. Sister Marcia Allen, CSJ, tells us that they offer at best a fleeting glimpse of a real life that is fundamentally mystical. They bear the shape of relationship with God, with neighbor and with self.

As I reflect on Maxim 25, I relate to the happiness that so many have experienced in the choice Linda has made. I am so happy to see God’s glory shining through her. She is a living example of something Thomas Merton has said.

“There is no way of telling people they’re walking around shining like the sun.’”

“They shall come back rejoicing, carrying seeds to be sown”

Live out your life with one desire only...

In this year of my golden jubilee, I gifted myself with a study and retreat time at Manna House in Concordia, Kansas. Designed for Communities of  St .Joseph, “Bearers of the Tradition, Phase Three” has allowed us the luxury of returning to the garden where this Community of the Great Love of God was seeded. Through the guidance of two generous caretakers of these preserved seeds, Marcia Allen and Janet Lander, nine of us have spent concentrated time deepening our understanding and awareness of the gift we have been given in our vocation to embrace this charism of loving union with all that is.  

Through the films The Way, Avatar, Of Gods and Men, and I Am, our consciousness of the core elements of our spirituality were right there before us, inviting us to see how it is lived out in our present circumstances. Our mission today is to continue to join with others in unfolding this awareness that in God, We are all One. 

We spent our time in contemplative reflection and conversation on mysticism, our faith journey and the dynamism of desire. Our skilled guides broke open for us  Medaille’s understanding of the Trinitarian relationships of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and Jesus, Mary and Joseph and our human response to living out of these relationships in our world today and into the future.    

During our retreat we are walking through the Maxims, focusing each day on one of these six precious relationships.

To be always what God wants you to be,
in nature,grace and glory
for time and eternity.
Maxim 73

This morning as I was walking the labyrinth here at Manna House, I entered, aware of having received these Maxims as a young postulant 50 years ago. We were told to memorize them.  I smiled as I pictured us walking side by side and behind Sr. Catherine Mary, our dear Kate, as she patiently listened to us recite them from heart. She was like a mother duck and we her ducklings. Daily, at meal time, we heard one of them recited. We were given a formulary of prayers and in the back were those 100 maxims.

As I walked, I became aware of how I have seen them lived out in myself and others. I forgave the many times we failed to live them. I recalled faces of sisters I have known, some alive and others deceased, who

image particular ones..

I came to the Center and paused a long while, giving thanks for the past 50 years and the gift of community. I hold as a treasure these 100 maxims and the potential they have for renewed love that is being called forth from us today.

As I turned, to return I was conscious that I still have some time left to live out my vocation and that I was once again offering my life to God. As I walked, I could hear myself singing, they shall some back rejoicing, carrying the seeds to be sown.

So I return carrying the 100 seeds of the Maxims.  

My intention for continuing this blog is to offer the seeds of these maxims. My hope is that you, the reader, will receive them and respond so that we can continue to nurture one another in living out our mission in the Community of St. Joseph, day by day.

Welcome Summer

"And what is so rare as a day in June?"asks James Russell Lowell.

It takes a certain presence to notice that something rare is on the horizon. We notice a change from the ordinary way things have been. Our senses awaken us to this newness. We are invited to enter in to the emergence of the mystery of this call. Please take time to notice.

Then, if ever, come perfect days;

Every now and then there arrives what we call a perfect day. This last day of spring opens wide to welcome summer on this, the longest day of the year. We are invited not only to observe and absorb but to consciously participate in this awesome arrival. Notice the beauty of the new that is coming forth in your life at the threshold of summer.

Then Heaven tries earth if it be in tune,

Listen to the music in the air. Take in the buzz of the bees and the lawn mower. Interpret the birdsongs and be prepared this year for the rare sounds of the cicadas. Ask yourself what heaven is trying to tune you into. Slow down and be surprised.

And over it softly her warm ear lays;

Summer lends itself to contemplative receptivity, once we find the rhythm and the pace. May you make moments this season to be still and receive the depths of your own beautiful being. May you discover new blossoms emerging from the roots of your vocational call. May you find the courage to let go of that which keeps you from experiencing the new. May you know the oneness of heaven and earth as they know you.

Whether we look, or whether we listen,

Our looking makes a big difference in the way things emerge. Our listening has more capacity than we could ever imagine. May you know this to be true from you own depths of perception.

We hear life murmer or see it glisten.
Please let us know what life is whispering to you and what you notice glistening in religious life these days. Something is being revealed through all of us and we need to hear from one another.



It has evolved for you. it has evolved for me. We are all one.

 I remember the first time I consciously used the word evolve.
It was at a community meeting and we were considering whether to allow sisters to live alone. At the time I was among a handful of people in our congregation who was living by myself.

“It has evolved for me” I said, meaning that over time, as I chose to remain in the Berkshires, and return to minister in North Adams, circumstances had led to me living singly in an apartment. “Yes” responded one of the congregational leaders, “I can see how this has evolved.” At the time we were discerning how to respond to the request of some sisters who were sensing a need to live alone for a period of time.

Fast forward 20 years and we voted in a Congregational Chapter, to allow the model of the Community of St. Joseph and the Agrégée form of membership to evolve. This unfolded as women and men expressed a desire to engage in life with us in a variety of ways. 25 years prior to this we responded to a similar request which had evolved our Associate form of membership.



Every thing take time to keep evolving.

 Time not only gives perspective. It also allows us to see how the seed of something, once it takes root and has the tending it needs, shows us what it is becoming. As we grow in our awareness that this becoming is actually part of us, we gain a perspective on consciousness. We recall the memories of how something started to attract us. We see how our choices helped this something to take shape. As we realize there is more to this yet to be revealed, there comes a moment of convergence. We know that we are one with this becoming. It needed us as much as we needed it! I am reminded a Rilke poem reflection that attracted me years ago. It is from his “Book of Hours” translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy.

“All becoming has needed me. My looking ripens things and they come toward me, to meet and be met."

A vocation evolves. It begins with an attraction. Our choices and experiences help it to take shape. It continues to change day by day, season by season and year by year. All the while it is ripening. We are becoming one with it.

I invite us all to spend some time looking, as the spring season begins to blossom into a summer of ripeness. You may enjoy visiting a web-site of Sister Patricia Bombard: www.consciousevolutionmemoir.com. Here we are guided on a path to help us become aware of how our ripeness has evolved. Adapting the process to vocation will be exciting, especially when we share our discoveries with one another on this blog. I can hardly wait.